It's bloody bedtime!

Went to a friends house for a girls night which turned into a girls and kids night because she wasn't able to get her children to stay in bed. They kept getting up and coming out of their room, over to us and pinching the nibbles we had out for us adults. Again and again she would tell them they couldn't eat the food but they kept pinching the food safe in the knowledge that mum wasn't going to do much about it. By 9pm I was feeling pretty tense and not enjoying the 'girls night' much.

Even with our red wine in hand I still couldn't relax with these children repeatedly coming out of their room and crashing our party.

In the end I asked her if I can try something, and with her permission I went into the children's bedroom, tucked them in bed, asked them what their favourite toy was (they said their teddies) and let them know if  they came out again I would take their teddies away. Within moments of leaving the room the eldest one came out and I promptly told him to get back in bed and took his favourite teddy away. He was upset and I wondered if we'd see an adverse reaction as can happen when a child first encounters someone who stands up to them. I told him he had to remain in bed for the rest of the night and then he'd get his teddy back.

Both children remained in bed and we got on with enjoying our girls night.

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I know so many parents who can't or won't or don't put their children in bed early.  Full of pathetic reasons as to why.  Parents who let 2 year olds stay up until 11pm because they seem to have some silly notion that it doesn't matter.  Parents who let 8 year olds stay up until 9pm because they can't be bothered being strict or want to be their child's friend. Or who are silly enough to think that their 8 year old isn't tired!

Giggle and Hoot sing their 5 Steps to Bedtime at 6pm for a good reason! If your child is young enough to be watching Sesame Street and Play School their bedtime is 6pm (6:30 at the latest)!!!!  Not 7pm, not 8pm and certainly not 11pm.

Further more ADULT television starts at 8:30pm. If your children or young adults (children under the age of 15) are still up by 8:30pm you are FAILING as a parent. You're a lazy slob doing a bad job. You're a pushover parent who is getting walked all over. You're a crummy parent full of excuses and no back bone.

So you're struggling to get your child to stay in bed. Just can't figure out how to get a child to stay in bed. The answer in one word is ROUTINE. Have a set routine every single night that you follow to the letter until your child understands that bedtime means bedtime.

Start with talking about bedtime before bedtime comes e.g. oh look it's 10 minutes til bedtime, cook dinner at the same time each night or thereabouts, brush their teeth at the same time each night, get them to go to the toilet at the same time each night, put their pj's on at the same time each night, wind them down at the same time each night. No excuses!!!! Do NOT excited them close to bedtime.  When they're in bed read them a story, sing to them or tell them a story. Settle them down and make them feel relaxed and sleepy. 

I used to gently massage lavender oil on the temples of one of my children to help them relax.

Start from the moment they're born! It's easier if you do.

If you haven't been doing this you'll have a battle on your hands but persistence will win out in the end. Eventually your children will know what bedtime means and when exactly bedtime is and they'll know you're the boss and in control (not the other way around).

NOTE: studies show (and I can fully verify) that children who sleep early are SMARTER than children who don't because adequate sleep helps brain development.  So if your child is not learning well consider that lack of sleep could be the issue.