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Tuesday 1 March 2016

Don't do your children a disservice

By disservice I mean don't raise a child no one likes.

Sadly I know of a number of children who others find hard to like or tolerate because their parents are too lenient. I feel bad for these children. It's not their fault they don't know the rules or how to be respectful towards others and their property. It's not their fault they have lax parents who don't bother teaching them right from wrong in any respectful and consistent manner. It's not their fault they're so badly behaved others can't stand to be around them.

It is the parent who is at fault yet sadly this reflects badly on the child when other children and adults struggle to like them.


For example: 
Are you the type of parent who, even though you can hear the person you're visiting recite their rules to your children, such as "Do not take food into the lounge room", while you sit by doing nothing as your child takes food into the lounge room, and you leave it up to the person whose house you're visiting to do all the work keeping your child/ren in check?

Are you the type of parent who visits people's houses and find yourself getting irritated because they have so many rules and they often reprimand your children, while you're sitting their thinking your children are angles and don't deserve to be spoken to that way?

Are you the type of parent whose child is rough and hurts, annoys or pesters other children to the point they're constantly coming up and complaining about your child, yet you do nothing? Even worse, if anyone dares hurt your child in return you're suddenly on them like a tonne of bricks demanding they leave your child alone?

Are you the type of parent who lets your child disrespect or hurt you and you do nothing because to speak up and demand your child be nice leaves you feeling uneasy, because being bossy is not something you want to do or be?

Are you the type of hippy guru parent who thinks your child's bad behavior is caused by some other fault such as: ADHD, ODD, or some other psychological reason... any other reason OTHER THAN you are an incredibly lazy parent who isn't doing a good enough job being consistent with rules and consequences?

Again it amazes me the amount of parents I meet who are terrible at getting their children to behave (most of the time they're not really trying) and then claim there is something mentally wrong with their child and this is the reason they won't behave. They completely downplay and ignore the fact that they are NOT teaching their child to behave in an acceptable manner.

There are many example of lax, easy going, lazy, complacent parents and again I stress, the saddest part about this (aside from the fact that the parent is making their own life harder by not standing their ground and setting decent rules and consequences for their children), they also do their child a disservice by not ensuring they're decent, well adjusted, rule abiding citizens. They end up with obnoxious, disobedient children others struggle to like and cannot stand to be around. 

If you're one of those parents I urge you to pick up your game. Learn to be consistent, learn some workable parenting styles and raise children who are respectful and likable.

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